i have expressed in this forum that sometimes im confused as to what will be my ultimate decision.
at this point in my life there is too much at stake.
first, my own emotional estate, ill hate to bitterly regret the years expend taking unnecessary emotional abuse and theocratic bulling.
I’ve learned that I’m not stupid, but that I was duped.
Exactly! It took me awhile to get to that stage, but once there, it makes things much easier! Thanks for sharing. It's important for lurkers and newbies to see these stories so they can appreciate that they're NOT alone, nor are they the problem. The problem lies with the WTS.
as stated in part 1 the latter part of the 1980s and 1990s were very good for my wife and i. we are doing well spiritually and both had good jobs.
our increasing income allowed us to move at a relatively young age to a nice area.
we wanted to stay in our old congregation but i was told as an appointed man i should support the congregation in my new territory.. this new congregation had a completely different feel about it to our old one.
cantleave - your description of congregation politics is repeated in JW congregations all over the world. I recall learning that the first elders meeting I attended prior to a CO visit. I was under the impression that the elders would read the qualifications from the scriptures, pray for direction and then discuss each brother in the hall. What I saw was lobbying prior to the meeting for a person's pet candidate, measurements being used that had no basis in scripture (is he getting the national average and commenting at every meeting? is his wife getting enough time and does she comment?) and the discussion was generally whether the guys in the room liked the person or not. If not, someone would come up with something to block the appointment.
Being an elder lead me down the path of not believing in the WTS anymore because once you see behind the curtain, you really can't honestly say holy spirit has anything to do with it.
Look forward to part 3
the title of this series of threads is rhetorical.
i am going to answer it with my own experience.
before i do that, i want to discuss what we are told through the literature and the instruction that is given during meetings, assemblies and conventions, for the reasons why people leave the truth.. the watchtower of 15 november 2008, in the article help them return without delay indicates people leave because of the following:.
cantleave - really interesting!
ok i have asked several of my friends and they have never heard of being chased by a committee before.
so i am hoping someone has some insight.. .
i'll give you background and yes i am not innocent in the situation but what i was raised to believe is being contradicted by the actions of the elders.. .
Sapphy is dead on.
Can I ask exactly what this letter you signed said? If it just said that you recognize that he is "scriputally free" (code language for admitting that you've had a sexual relationship with someone), without going into any details, you may be able to argue that 1) you didn't understand what you were signing, or 2) that because of his previous abuse you were coerced into signing it.
Your ex obviously wants to date (or is dating) another JW and that's why he's doing this. But, if you don't want to get df'ed then you would pretty much have to play by their rules and tell them how terrible he was because they will take that letter as a confession and if you're not there to defend yourself, it will be a 2 minute meeting.
I like Scully's idea of going after the individual elders for slander but that's going to cost money. Putting it out there may make them back off. I personally would love to see someone do that because I know the WTS would not defend their individual elders.
Of course, the whole thing is clearly unscriptural but then again, that's the WTS for you.
i have been looking around here for a while but this is my first post.
my wife and i have been fading not so smoothly.
i pretty much know this is not the truth but am still undecided how i feel on various issues and i am still sorting them out.
tt - nice response
i have been looking around here for a while but this is my first post.
my wife and i have been fading not so smoothly.
i pretty much know this is not the truth but am still undecided how i feel on various issues and i am still sorting them out.
First welcome!
The problem I see is that since you spoke to both your mother & your sister, they have their 2 witnesses if they really want to hold a JC they can.
WAC's advice is dead on. Is there a local example of something that wasn't done "properly" and that you could use as a source of your frustrations? Or is there someone in the hall that has been "stumbling you"? Or, you said that your dad left and was an elder so you could say that you were thinking about that and it caused you to temporarily have some doubts but your taking the course that WAC suggested.
Then, if this blows over and you fade, try to move to a KH that doesn't have family (if that's possible). Having a relative on the BOE can be either very good (to make things go away) or very bad depending on your relationship with that person. If this is your mother's brother, he's probably hypersensitive to "apostacy" given that his brother-in-law went that route.
Good luck!
the wt had an international convention in trinidad this past week and here is a picture of a young boy being baptised- get them early before they can undersatnd what they are getting themselves into.
how old does this boy look?
for story: http://guardian.co.tt/features/life/2009/12/30/keep-watch.
10 tops
after knowing what i now know about the wt and the gb.
now that i can see the real spirit behind this organization, now that i have convinced my self that i dont need this religion or any other organized group to have a personal relationship with god and his son... i wonder, whats next?
should i stay as part of the conscious class, a less committed jw for the sake of my marriage and emotional stability?
I hear you. I'm sort of in the same spot in that I see that JWs aren't even close to the truth, yet leaving would create such heartache and pain that it doesn't seem worth it. I'm hopeful that one day my wife will come to the same conclusion because I'm not leaving without her.
TJL, the one piece of advice I'll offer is that you don't have any specific time pressure so don't do or say anyting rash. Learning that your belief system was misguided can be tramuatic. I recall a sick feeling coming over me when I was forced to admit JWs don't have the truth and never did. It's very similar to the grieving process and from first hand experience, I went through all the steps.
This board has been a fantastic plan to vent frustrations so continue posting. It will get better.
i knew a few families that wink wink did not celebrate gift giving for christmas.
instead, they celebrated "family day".
.
Yup, my family started doing it a few years ago since between my siblings and I there are 7 kids. We never gave gifts to the adults (although we all give something to my parents). Sometimes its on Christmas Day, other times the day before or the day after, depending on when it falls. This year it was on Christmas day.
Reminds me of Sinfield when Kramer invented a holiday called Festivus. It was a celebration for any non-Christians. "Festivus for the rest of us".
To me, it respresents a bit of rebellion for WTS rules. They don't want us to gather as a family and celebrate each other. BTW, my dad is an elder and one of my brothers just got appointed.
we're killing the fattened young bull and having osso bucco (spell?
) tonight.
i'm going to the airport right now to pick up my long-time dfed, over 20-years shunned, gay older brother!.
OM - that's awesome!
